Brad Brad (because you are a DEAR and it is a SYNONYM),

I have made it through the day, subsisting mainly on YouTube videos and German chocolate cake. Questions remain unanswered, however:

What kind of jewelry would you consider wearing? Have you ever worn jewelry in earnest?

You talk big talk about licking people, but have you ever really licked someone across the face? I feel like there's something you're not considering: Makeup. Years ago, I met my boyfriend at the train station in New York. We had been apart for a while and when I caught sight of him, I ran over and gave him a tremendous kiss--but he pulled away and said scornfully "Jeez, hello lip gloss." Ouch! What a feelings trampler. What I'm saying is, make-up is a known entity in ladies, and I don't want you licking someone and then getting annoyed that they are wearing a very thick foundation and 'tawny soliel' or 'hazel ivory' is now all over your tongue. A funnier joke would be if you dated a total ice queen (I at first wrote ice cream--also lickable!) and one day you licked her face and pretended your tongue got stuck to it, like she was a frozen pole. Then, I imagine, things would probably get heated.

What else. I found myself relating to two classics today:



Smokey Robinson is still alive! What luck! I relished the simple lyrics: "I don't like you, but I love you/seems that I'm always thinkin' of you". I think part of the fun of getting over your beloved is listening to pretty much every song ever written, since they suddenly all relate to you. "Why have I never noticed before?" I wept to myself, clicking the back arrow to the beginning and listening 8 more times. When I got bored of that, I learned it on guitar and recorded myself singing it, at a slower tempo. MINE. It was so emo.

Later on, I walked out of my house to my car in a better mood and a sexy dress, and I caught myself singing "For Once In My Life" and really meaning it. I realized I was singing like I was in love with myself. I was serenading myself. I am aware that my personality is bordering on intolerable at this point.



Stevie Wonder is still alive! More luck! What an embarrassing duet though, since @ 1.44, Stevie just basically destroys Tony Bennett (on his birthday!) and then lays down a brilliant harmonica solo that makes me really mad at Bob Dylan for being so consistently shitty at live shows.

I may have also watched a number of Beyonce videos at some point, and then tried to do the Diva dance in front of the full-length mirror. As I said: Intolerable.

MERRY SEPTEMBER 11TH!

Ariana